I recently read that there is a core of truth in every good lie. This, of course got me thinking. You see, I don’t ever lie. Well that is a lie, but a white one.
The term “white lie” is meant to indicate that the lie has no malicious intent and it does no harm. In fact, it may actually keep from hurting someone’s feeling or may actually increase their feeling of self worth. The question: “Do these pants make my derriere look big?” comes to mind. ( Ruth advised to say derriere instead of ….) What can you possibly say in response? The better question is: “Why would you put someone, especially a significant other or a friend, in this predicament?”
The “fat pants” question begs for a white lie. Even if the truth is that the pants don’t enlarge the enclosed derriere, the response will always be questioned, anyway. However, I digress as I normally do. This Moan is about the core of truth in every lie.
It takes a great deal of brain energy and a relatively great amount of time to tell a lie. First, we must know and recognize the truth. Then we must determine that, at this particular moment, we must not tell that truth and that silence is not an option. We then must construct a plausible lie, give voice to it and control the attendant body language so we don’t give ourselves away. We must also be prepared to answer any questions regarding that lie. We also have to commit the lie and the entire incident to memory so we can defend that lie in the future.
Yikes! That is a lot of stuff just to deceive someone else.
So what is the core of truth in the lie? It is the truth itself, that’s the core. To be plausible, the lie must alter, manipulate, twist, bend, the lie (and many other verbs). To convince someone that the lie is the truth it must have a basis in fact.
Some people are not good at lying because they can’t leave the core of the truth together and yet embellish to a believable lie. These people have trouble believing the truth: That others are great at lying. They can’t do it well so they project this onto others with sometimes devastating results such as taken for money or property.
Those of you who are great at lying, you know who you are, happily go through life taking advantage of others with little repercussions. You are so good at lying that you can deny the lie convincingly even when caught or re-manipulate the situation to the other’s detriment.
I, myself, try to stay within the boundaries of the truth. It is much easier to remember the truth than it is to remember a lie. My second course of action is to “Remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt” to quote Benjamin Franklin. The third option is to omit the items that, although truth, will cause problems either to me or to others (The White Lie).
I find that I do not encounter too many instances where I am stretched beyond these options.
By the way, your derriere looks great in those pants!
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2 Comments
Wow, you know at least a couple of my family members or my ex very well….lol! Right now we are dealing with someone who will tell a lie, or omit the truth by waiting until the last minute to drop the “bomb”, and then use tears as a way to divert from the fact that they lied. The focus becomes “you hate me”, or “I’m not dealing with stress because…” , or “you think I’m bad, lazy, ugly”, in order to make you feel guilty for being upset about the lie or event that wasn’t mentioned until the last minute. So then the liar becomes a victim.
Hi Sheryl,
Great to hear from you.It is a trademark of the liar to be very good at presenting things so that the other person feels discomfort by questioning the lie. Send them a link to this post and see what happens,
Manny Roman