I played at a poker tournament the other day and noticed the friendship trigger in action. The table is oblong and has ten seats so we are rather equally divided into two sides on either side of the dealer. The side I was on talked and laughed and quickly connected. This is normal since you want to make friends with the guy to your left. He acts after you so he gets to see what you do before he has to act. This is a great advantage in poker so you want to see if you can get him to show you a little friendly mercy.
We became so “friendly” that we rooted for our section against the other side of the table. We even whispered about how the players on the other side played and what hands they could have had if they folded. I should point out that the object of a poker tournament is to be the last one standing after you have eliminated all others by taking their chips. They are your enemies, not your friends.
Yet we felt emotional connections to the members of our side of the table, at least against the enemies on the other side. We wanted to be at the final table together.
As players got knocked out by losing their chips, the remaining players would be moved to other tables to make sure that the tables each had the same amount of players. We felt a loss as our table was broken up and wished our group well. We then proceeded to make friends with our side of the new table. We would now root for our new friends against our old friends.
Bottom line is that as we move through life making new friends and distancing from old friends, the new friends take precedence. It does not matter how close we were to the old, distance (or time) minimizes their influence. Absence does in fact make the heart go wander. I know the saying is fonder not wander, however, I find that wander is a more apt.
In my opinion only the hope trigger is more powerful than the friendship trigger. Once invoked, the friendship trigger bypasses rational, logical thought and emotionally attaches us to the invoker.
I know that by now you only care about how I fared in the poker tournament. Through skillful play (luck) I came in third. I knocked out two of my old friends and one new one. That seemed to end our friendship for some reason. Maybe logic and reason took over at that point.
Please join me for the TechNation 7 Triggers webinar where I will discuss seven triggers that influence the amygdala to make the quick yes decision before the thinking brain gets a shot. These are seven powerful persuasive triggers. I will present the webinar on May 28th, at 2PM EDT. Mark your calendar.
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